Saturday, October 07, 2006

Falling in Love

Has it never struck to you as strange, this expression ‘falling in love’?? I mean, I have never heard people saying, “I walked in love”, or “I feel love” or anything that does not imply blunder! Looking at the word “fall”, we know it is something you do when you do not know the path properly, and hence stumble on an obstacle and “fall”.
Do we not know love? Then why do people keep falling in love? To me the word fall is a bit intimidating. Whenever I’ve tried to analyze rationally, the word love, I always end up wondering about this particular ‘fall’ that everyone encounters.
All feedback I’ve had from people, who have ‘fallen’ in love always points that it is something that is out of their control, something that somehow happened to them, and they were not prepared for it. It is only after ‘falling’ in love that people suddenly realize the horror which is veiled as long as you are the envious observer.
I guess that what people say about love is true. Because only when you are oblivious to the fact that there is this big pit right in front of you, are you able to fall in it, in my case, I see the pit too clearly, and hence………..
How does it feel, to fall in love? I ask everyone who has had the good fortune of falling in it. “ohh, it’s lovely” “it’s beautiful”. To my unpracticed ears, this is funny, partly because here, we are talking about a ‘fall’ and people are enjoying it. Is the pit called love, lined by velvet? “Yes” is the unanimous answer, and suddenly I feel the urge to take a plunge, but as I said, you cannot ‘fall’ if you know that there is a pit, you can only jump, but no one has heard of “jumping in love”. Have you?
One way is that I close my eyes, and pretend that I do not know there is a pit, be a complete ignoramus and ‘fall’ but I guess that’ll be cheating.
Man, how did I come to know of this pit, not everybody did, and they are falling happily, again and again, and here I am, standing on the edge, listening to cries of joy, coming from within, and wondering, why do I think so much??

“So you see it too”.
I turned, surprised. Because, one it was a female voice, and two, I thought I was the only one who knew about the pit, all others were just merrily coming down the road, and falling.
“Yes. And that is the problem”. I replied.
“This means you cannot fall in it”.
“Wow. A chick who thinks, and understands”. I thought aloud.
“I can say the same about guys. Not all chicks are dumb”
“But. But that’s impossible… I mean…. cool. ”
She walked towards me. I could not do anything but admire her. Those piercing eyes, the lone strand of black hair that fell across her face; she was beautiful, and for once, I mean the word ‘beautiful’. But my insufferable thought process said ‘this is seemingly irrational’
“Rationale and love do not go together” She read my thoughts.
“I like guys who can think” She moved a step closer. I could smell her scent, and I was suddenly giddy.
“You.. yyou do” I couldn’t speak. She moved closer.
I wanted her. In one freak moment of thought, I banished all rationale, I wanted her to be mine, and I wanted the world to end, so that no one could lay any claim on her.
She was closer than ever, and I involuntarily took a step back, to place my foot on ‘nothing’. I lost my balance and caught her hand for support. In a frozen moment of time I see myself toppling over the edge of the pit, falling, my hand holding hers.
I ask her breathlessly “who are you?”
“I’m Aphroditis”
And I knew.